SO. Right now, I have it trimmed to what I think is its best (so far, yeah, yeah, I know. I'll revise probably a million more times. Don't talk to me about that right now). And the only thing I need to know: Is the last sentence conclusive enough to end it.
Which is why I'm only pasting in two paragraphs. I don't really need ... okay, okay, I mean want; who knows what I need anymore ... I don't really need another full query critique. Comment on all of it if you must. I won't be mad. There's a good chance I won't listen, but I won't be mad. :D
That said, please help me.
With her unexceptional powers, Finna can't expose Parlan as a fraud. She needs help, and her best chance is to accept it from the most powerful boy she knows, Liam Monroe. Using his family's position in the new government, he's poised to take it down from the inside. Trusting Liam isn't easy. Their families have hated each other for generations. But with him risking his life for Finna and the cause, she's forced to reevaluate his character -- and her feelings for him.Finna can't defeat Parlan without Liam's help, even though choosing him is tantamount to siding against her family.