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Saturday, October 15, 2011

Sweet Saturday Samples: More From "My Best Friend is a Superhero"


I just finished polishing it up to start sending out queries, so I figured what better way to celebrate than giving everyone another "sweet" taste! So here's the hook, and the sample from Chapter 2. (For a sample of Chapter 1, check out this post; for another from Chapter 10, check out this post.)

Hook: (And definitely tell me what you think)
If seventeen-year-old Bek Black is right about her best friend being a superhero, falling in love with the notorious player means putting more than her heart on the line.

Sample:
“Wow, I’m such a slob. I guess I should’ve offered to get you some food.” The blaring music forced Adam to lean in close to me so I could hear. His breath moved some of the small hairs that escaped my ponytail and tickled my ear.
I turned toward him, a smirk on my face. “What are you, my date? I think that’d make at least half the girls here wild with jealousy. Better not risk it.”
He laughed. “Whatever you say.” He reached in his pocket, pulling his phone out. His shoulders slumped when he read the message he got. “Aw, man. Tonight?”
“What is it?”
Adam glanced up from the phone. “Hm?”
“What is it?” I yelled.
His grin returned. “I need to go call my mom. I’ll be back.”
“You’re leaving me alone?” I searched the room, trying to find a face I knew.
That’s when I saw him. I felt like someone dropped ice down my throat and into my stomach. The room closed in. The people around me pressed closer. Their hands seemed to push against me, suffocating me. I swore I smelled the woody, musky, totally unpleasant and overwhelming scent of his cologne.
Someone gripped my arm and I yanked it away.
“Bek.” Adam’s voice floated through to me. I looked up. The muscles of his shoulders and arms seemed rigid. “Stay away from him, okay? You promise?”
“Like I’d go anywhere near him.” My voice shook.
Adam took my arm again, pushing me backward, toward the door I assumed led to the kitchen. That’s where Tessa and Josh disappeared through. This time I didn’t resist Adam’s touch. He glanced at the door where Dan and a couple guys I recognized as his friends from Whitson greeted some people near the door. I didn’t think he’d seen me yet. Adam stared down at his phone again, appearing torn.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?”
I nodded, but irritation bubbled up. He was leaving me here to face Dan? To go call his mom?
Adam caught my look, hesitated, and I think he growled under his breath. “I’ll be right back. Go find Josh and Tessa.”
“Yeah. Okay. Of course.” I watched him walk away, moving with dexterity through the mob of people in the rooms. Clenching my fingers, I waited for a confrontation when he met Dan near the door. Somehow Adam slipped around the group without Dan seeing him. Adam’s mom must’ve had something important to say if Adam avoided a fight with Dan to go call her. I watched Adam’s dark head disappear through the door.
Then I glanced up and caught Dan’s eye. He leaned forward, his eyes brightening. He started to move away. Toward me. The room pressed in on me again. I stepped backward, meeting the wall. I couldn’t face him. Real or imagined, I’d feel his hands on me again, trapping me.
I didn’t know where to find the kitchen, or where to find Tessa and Josh. I escaped into a hallway and saw a door at the end. It led outside. Fresh air. I rushed toward it, knowing instinctively Dan followed me. Whether he wanted to talk or something else, I couldn’t stay to find out. Two more steps and my hand clasped the knob. I gulped down the night air the second it hit my face. But I didn’t relax. When I pulled the door shut, Dan stepped into the hall.
I strained my eyes in the darkness of the Chandler’s backyard. When they adjusted, I made out shapes; trees, bushes, decorative benches, and even a gazebo. I rushed for it. Light from the house slanted across the yard. I crouched down behind a stone bench.
“Bek? Bek, are you out here?”
I pulled my knees up against my chest. Adam will go back inside soon. He’ll see I’m not there. And that Dan’s not inside. He’ll come looking for me. Sit tight.
“Bek? I saw you come out here.”
I peered under the bench. His feet moved with slow steps across the grass.
“Let’s talk, Bek. Let’s talk about us.” The lurid tone of his voice made me shudder and huddle closer to the bench. “Or not.” He chuckled.


I leaned around the bench, scraping my elbow. I gasped.

“Bek?” His feet stopped. I bit my knuckles. Everything started to close around me. I felt him listening for the slightest sound.

Where was Adam?

For more sweet samples, check out the Sweet Saturday Samples site.

6 comments:

  1. Intriguing! I hope someone picks up this book - I'd love to own a copy!

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  2. This is such an intriguing story! It's sure to be a hit with YA's. Good luck with your queries.

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  3. You did a great job building suspense and grabbing the reader's attention.

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  4. Gosh, that's a heaping pile of anxiety you've got going there! Thanks for the sample.

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  5. I'm definitely intrigued! Good luck! :-)

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About Me!

I've been writing since I was old enough to grasp a crayon--my grandma even has an early copy of a "book" I made her. I have a bachelor's degree in history from the University of Wyoming and will (hopefully) soon be starting a graduate program in English. When I'm not breaking up impromptu UFC fights in the living room or losing miserably to my boys at Uno, I'm ... well, writing or editing, of course! I'm married to my best friend, and we have three rambunctious but simply amazing little boys.

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