A Blast from the Past

When my seven brothers and sisters and I (yup-seven) left my parent's house after Christmas this year, she sent us all home with a box of things she'd collected over the years. Among the report cards, honor roll certificates (that's me, overachiever!), and newspaper clippings, to my surprise, amusement, and horror, I found several stories I'd written throughout my life. Because I'm supremely confident that my writing has improved somewhat over the years, I'm actually posting some of these over the next few days. Go ahead--laugh it up. I know you guys have these in your closet too!


My Amazing Experience: A Trip to China
Publication date, unknown
by Ranee` Savage (my "pen" name back then...)
(transcribed here exactly as it appears on the page in front of me. Somehow I resisted editing ...)

Ranee's cousin had just gotten his new car. He and Ranee' and Karen were going to celebrate by dragging main. We had all the windows down and the radio going full blast {anyone notice the sudden POV change?} We had gone down main about twice and were getting tired. Brian made a sharp turn near the Exon station. We had wanted to go over this hill many a time. Out of pure curiosity we went over the hill. Little did we know that lying on the other side of the hill was the canal that led to our Amazing Adventure. We shot up over the hill and were surprised to find the canal. Hurriedly we rolled up the windows. We turned of the radio hoping to save energy. We were also hoping that the car would make it over the canal. But it didn't! We went plunging down head (or should we say hood) {just as witty as ever!} first. We were going 10 times the speed of light. We realized we were going straight towards the center of the earth. Then the engine died. We slowed to a steady crawl. We waited. after a couple of hours it was getting unbearably hot. Plus we were running out of air, so we couldn't talk. {Already I was a master of suspense. Way to keep my readers engaged by letting everything go wrong!} Ranee` grabbed for her backpack. She pulled out her notebook and scribbled furiously. {And yet another POV change.} In big bold letters it said: TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING!!!!!!! {That is the exact number of exclamation marks on the original MS} Brian flipped on the switch and the cool air came swishing out at them. Not only did it help them breath but it also go colder. Soon the air conditioning stopped. They would run out of air in a matter of minutes. Just as they were about to loose conciousness {I still can't spell this word} they burst out in China! Up-side-down!! With his final burst of energy, Brian rolled down the window and opened the locked door. Slowly Karen and Ranee` revived. They soled their car and brought a plane ticket for home. When they got back to Lovell they realized that when the traveled at the speed of light they got home five hours before they left!! And they lived happily ever after.

The End