Things You Need to Know NOW!: Grammar Is Not Optional

Grammar Is Not Optional: Punctuating Dialog and Other Common Grammar Mistakes

I’ve always had a fairly decent grip on grammar, but along with the critique came small mistakes I’d never known I was making. I dug out all the grammar books I could find, searched the internet, read all about commas so I could spot my mistakes and make my writing more polished and professional.

Punctuating Dialog

“Hello, Finna.” He said, hugging me tightly once I was inside. “How was school?”

“Mr. Walters let me retake the test.” I answered, dropping my bag into one of the big soft chairs that faced his desk and planted myself comfortably in the other, wondering how long we were going to have to wait for the visitor.

“Excellent.” Dad responded, leaning against his desk. “How did you do?”

“C-minus.” I answered, trying to look optimistic about this. “No books fell on him.” I added with a hopeful shrug and Dad grinned, easing my mind immediately.

“That’s comforting.” He replied. He cleared his throat and looked past me.

Dialog, also from the scary “final draft,” version five of “Bloom.” Cringe.

Here’s the correct way to punctuate:

“Hello, Finna,” He said, hugging me tightly once I was inside. “How was school?”

“Mr. Walters let me retake the test,” I answered, dropping my bag into one of the big soft chairs that faced his desk and planted myself comfortably in the other, wondering how long we were going to have to wait for the visitor. [And better: “Mr. Walters let me retake the rest.” I dropped my bag into one of the big soft chairs that faced his desk…]

“Excellent,” Dad responded, leaning against his desk. “How did you do?”

“C-minus,” I answered, trying to look optimistic about this. “No books fell on him,” I added with a hopeful shrug and Dad grinned, easing my mind immediately.

“That’s comforting,” he replied. He cleared his throat and looked past me.

It seemed so strange at first, all those commas and lower-case letters. I had to really work, do some soul-searching on the internet to convince myself my reviewers were telling me the truth. But I finally cleared it out in my mind. Take out the quotes and think of the dialog as a sentence.

Excellent. Dad responded, leaning against the desk. How did you do?
That’s comforting. He replied. He cleared his throat and looked past me.

It looks silly like that, doesn’t it? So here are the rules:

1.       When a dialog is attributed to a character using a word like said, asked, responded, replied, etc. it should be punctuated with a comma, and the words following the comma should be lower-case, except for proper nouns.
Examples:
“We’re going to the store,” she said.
“We’re going to the store?” he asked.
“We’re going to the store!” they shouted.
“We’re going to the store,” I said.

2.       Whenever possible, leave off an attribution like said, asked, responded, replied, etc. and attribute the speech with an action instead. When the attribution is marked by an action, use a period to punctuate the speech.
Examples:
She held open the door. “We’re going to the store.”
“We’re going to the store?” He raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“We’re going to the store!” They stomped up and down.

3.       Nine times out of 10 you should use the common words like said or asked, if you use an attribution word at all. According to many things I’ve read on the subject, readers basically just skip over said or asked. Words like shrieked, yelled, demanded stand out instead of flow. Here is an excellent article I found online on the subject: http://www.writing-world.com/fiction/said.shtml

Other Common Grammar Mistakes I Come Across

This is not, by any means, a comprehensive list of grammar mistakes. As the title suggests, these are the mistakes I see most often when critiquing the works of others, and prior to April 2010, my own writing. J

Comma Splice

Mae sobbed into Porter’s shoulder, the death of her mentor devastated her.

The biggest mistake I see are comma splices. According to Diane Hacker in “A Writers Reference,” a comma splice is “two or more independent clauses joined by a comma without a coordinating conjunction.”

The two phrases above, “Mae sobbed into Porter’s shoulder” and “the death of her mentor devastated her,” could stand alone. They each have a subject (Mae, her) and a verb (sobbed, devastated). Even though the two sentences are related, they either must be split into two sentences:

Mae sobbed into Porter’s shoulder. The death of her mentor devastated her.

Split by a semi-colon (not recommended. Semi-colons should be used sparingly.)

Mae sobbed into Porter’s shoulder; the death of her mentor devastated her.

Or joined by a conjunction:

Mae sobbed into Porter’s shoulder because the death of her mentor devastated her.

There are writers who claim they’re using a comma splice stylistically. Obviously that’s your call. I tend to follow the advice of Mignon Fogerty on this subject. She’s also known as Grammar Girl and has a website called Quick and Dirty tips. She has an amazing podcast on this subject: http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/comma-splice.aspx

Commas between independent phrases with a coordinating conjunction

This is incorrect: Mae sobbed into Porter’s shoulder and he patted her reassuringly on the back.

Again, both phrases are independent and could stand alone. Place a comma before the coordinating conjunction (and).

Mae sobbed into Porter’s shoulder, and he patted her reassuringly on the back.

Don’t use a comma if one or both of the phrases are dependent—couldn’t stand alone.

Mae sobbed into Porter’s shoulder and blew her nose on his shirt. (Blew her nose on his shirt is not a complete sentence. It is dependent—so no comma.)

Introductory phrases

According to Diana Hacker and introductory word groups are “clauses and phrases functioning as adverbs.”

When her sobbing ended, Porter led Mae to the car.

They can also include “participal phrases describing a noun or pronoun immediately following them.” (Hacker, 236).

Blasting through the cave, Porter and Mae found the TimeGlass.

Hacker also notes: “Other introductory word groups include conjunctive adverbs, transitional expressions, and absolute phrases.” (237).

Next installment: Words I Repeatedly Overuse. Do you?